Marriage proposal - surprising or planned?

A marriage proposal is a significant moment in a couple's life, often associated with surprise, romance and anticipation. But the question remains: should the proposal be planned as a surprise or is it better to discuss it with your partner in advance? In this article, we explore this question as well as important considerations and tips for the perfect engagement.

The decision as to whether or not the wedding proposal should be a surprise depends on various factors. A surprise engagement can be spontaneous and romantic, while joint planning ensures that both partners' ideas and wishes are taken into account.

The most important facts at a glance

The right moment for a marriage proposal

Not just a question of timing, but also of emotions, the environment and life circumstances.

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Engagement as a romantic surprise

The advantages and disadvantages of a surprise marriage proposal.

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Planning the marriage proposal together

What you should pay attention to when planning together?

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Ideas for a marriage proposal

Let our ideas inspire you!

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The right moment for a marriage proposal

The question of the right time to propose is one of the most important considerations for any couple. Some couples want to propose during a special event such as a vacation, romantic evening, anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc., while others want to choose the moment spontaneously. It's not just a question of timing, but also of emotions, surroundings and life circumstances. Here are some important aspects to consider when choosing the right time to propose:
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The moment of the relationship

Ideally, the time for the proposal should be a high point in your relationship; a moment when you feel particularly connected and your love is strong. This could be after a romantic vacation, after a significant milestone in your relationship or simply after a special moment that has strengthened your bond.
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Personal circumstances

Consider the personal circumstances of your partner and your relationship. Is your partner ready for the next step? Are there external influences such as career changes, family events or financial challenges that need to be taken into account?
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Emotional readiness

Both you and your partner should be emotionally ready for the proposal. It is important that you are both sure that you want to spend the rest of your lives together and that you are clear about your future plans.
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Geographical location

If a marriage proposal is to take place in a special location, it is important to consider the circumstances of that location. You may want to propose on a romantic trip or in a place that has special meaning for you. Make sure you plan the logistics and practical details in advance.

How soon is too soon to buy an engagement ring?

You are still in the 'honeymoon' phase: This phase is usually the relationship phase when lust and falling in love are at their highest. This is usually the period from the 6th month of your relationship to the second year - therapists advise waiting until this phase is over. This is because a marriage proposal during this time could be the result of the chemistry between you, and you may not be ready for a long-term commitment and engagement.

You don't know your partner very well: Although you may feel emotionally ready, you must first ask yourself if you really know your partner well, if you have built the foundation of the relationship together, and if your values and ideas for the future are aligned. Make sure you have an answer to all these important questions before you buy a ring.

You haven't gotten to know your partner's social circle: Getting married means becoming an important part of each other's lives. This includes getting to know your partner's family and friends.

You feel pressured by your social circle: Family and friends are often interested in your choice of partner. Their opinion can then influence you, for example, to make the decision to propose earlier than you feel ready. If your friends are constantly asking you when you're going to 'make the move', take a step back and take some time to think about the issue. Reassess your feelings and your current readiness for a long-term commitment.

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Engagement as a romantic surprise

A surprise marriage proposal can be perceived as a romantic gesture that makes the moment very special. For many people, a surprise proposal is an unforgettable experience that they will remember forever. If the proposal is also spontaneous, it can make the moment even more exciting and emotional.

However, a surprise proposal does not necessarily mean an unprepared or spontaneous proposal. You could surprise your partner, but still plan in advance so that you can tailor the proposal to your partner's preferences as much as possible. On the other hand, with a surprise proposal, there is always the risk that your partner's expectations will not be met, for example if the engagement ring does not match your partner's taste or the moment for the proposal is unfavorable. A surprise "Will you marry me?" can sometimes be very overwhelming. Another aspect is that the partner sometimes prefers to have a say in the choice of ring. If this is the case, you could easily go to the jeweler together and choose the ring together.

In some cases, couples prefer to discuss such issues in advance and be prepared. Have a conversation with your partner about how they feel about the issue and explain that you feel ready for marriage. If your ideas are in line with your partner's, you could still keep the details of the proposal to yourself and surprise your partner after you've made sure you're both on the same page.

Discuss with your partner how they envision this magical moment in their life - should it be over a romantic candlelit dinner or perhaps they prefer something more intimate like a proposal at home? After you know your partner's preferences, you could still surprise them with the date or the details of the event. For example, you could place the ring at a romantic dinner in an unexpected place like a fortune cookie or champagne. If your partner has a different idea of romance and likes the comfort of their own home, you could write a message with the big question on their coffee mug or place heart-shaped rose petals on their bed.

What you shouldn't forget is that the words should come from the heart and match your partner's style and preferences. Discover our article Marriage proposal text - how to find the right words.

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Planning the marriage proposal together

Planning the marriage proposal together allows both partners to enjoy the anticipation of the special moment together. This allows both partners to bring in their ideas and wishes to create a marriage proposal that perfectly suits their relationship. Joint planning offers security and allows both partners to carefully plan and organize the timing and circumstances of the proposal.

However, planning together also runs the risk of losing the element of surprise and making the proposal less spontaneous and romantic. It can be difficult to keep a marriage proposal a secret when both partners are involved in the planning process, which can detract from the surprise. Joint planning can also come with stress and pressure as both partners want to make sure the proposal is perfect and memorable.

The decision between a surprise or joint planning ultimately depends on the couple's individual preferences and circumstances. Whichever approach you choose, the most important factor is that the proposal comes from the heart and celebrates your love and commitment.

Ideas of a marriage proposal

If you decide to surprise your partner with the proposal, now it's all about the how of the engagement. We have put together a few ideas for the proposal that will serve as inspiration and make your special moment even more unforgettable:

Proposing above the clouds

It would be a special surprise to get engaged after a skydive. A skydive is a unique and unforgettable adventure that gets the adrenaline pumping and will be remembered forever. Imagine asking your partner the question of all questions in the air as you float together in the freedom of the sky. The combination of different emotions makes this moment something very special that you will both cherish forever.

In your own four walls

If you are not interested in proposing in public, you can give your partner a special surprise in the privacy of your own home. One possible creative idea for a marriage proposal at home could be a candlelit dinner. Prepare a lovingly prepared meal that includes your partner's favorite dishes and provide elegant table decorations with flowers and candles. You could also add a personal touch by preparing a handwritten letter or poem to express your feelings. When the moment arrives, you can pop the big question and anchor the moment in your hearts forever. The magic of the candlelit dinner will make this moment an unforgettable highlight of your love that will stay with you for a lifetime.

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Get down on one knee at the place where you met

Choosing the place where you first met or where your relationship began can be extremely meaningful for the proposal. A romantic walk or picnic at this location creates an intimate atmosphere that is perfect for a surprise proposal. You could also personalize the moment to show your partner that you've put some thought into it. For example, you could play your favorite song in the background or call your other half by their nickname during the proposal. Then when you pop the big question, this place will become an even more important part of your love story forever.

Proposing underwater

Do you want to propose to your partner in a particularly unexpected and original way? Then this idea is perfect for you. Surprise your partner with an underwater marriage proposal! If you both enjoy snorkeling or diving, you can share your special moment during this underwater activity.

  • Book a diving course for both of you or go snorkeling together in a quiet bay
  • Stow the engagement ring safely before you go into the water. For example, in a cell phone case that can be attached to your arm or on your own finger with the stone turned downwards.
  • Inform the diving instructor of your plans in advance. On the one hand, so that they are not confused later, and on the other, so that they can help you. For example, they may be able to organize a waterproof pad and pen for you, as it will be difficult to ask the question of all questions underwater.

Of course, it is very important to take care of the engagement ring and not drop it while diving. Not only will it be almost impossible to find it again, but the shock will overshadow the romantic proposal. If you want to be on the safe side, you can also ask your partner to marry you underwater and then present the ring on land in a ring box.

Fancy more?

In our article "Proposing on vacation", you'll find everything you need to know about the perfect proposal in paradise - from choosing a beautiful location to the question of whether friends and family should be there. You can find helpful tips and tricks here.


Whether above the clouds, under water or simply in the comfort of your own home. Whichever proposal you choose, remember that the most important part of the proposal is that it comes from the heart and celebrates the love between you.

Still missing the ring? Then let us advise you on the various designs and materials in a personal consultation and make sure that the ring fits your partner perfectly. We look forward to seeing you!

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